walking down the overcast lane called memory...

i recently came across some pictures someone posted on facebook. i was just browsing, checking some things out, and the pictures just jumped out and hit me. hard.

the pictures were straight out of the past, faces i hadn't seen in awhile, and never expected to see online. my sisters. i don't know all of the circumstances surrounding the situation, though i've heard the story in bits and pieces all my life, but they were taken from our family unexpectedly, brutally, when i was just a few months old.

a couple weeks ago, maurice sendak died and i read through some quotes of his. the ones posted below stood out to me as i thought of my little ones in my classroom, they have dealt with so much in their short lives. but in just the past few days, i realize that they applied to my own childhood, and really everyone's childhood has something in it that alters them and compromises how the future could have been compared to what it might be now...

“I think it is unnatural to think that there is such a thing as a blue-sky, white-clouded happy childhood for anybody. Childhood is a very, very tricky business of surviving it. Because if one thing goes wrong or anything goes wrong, and usually something goes wrong, then you are compromised as a human being. You're going to trip over that for a good part of your life.”

“Certainly we want to protect our children from new and painful experiences that are beyond their emotional comprehension and that intensify anxiety; and to a point we can prevent premature exposure to such experiences. That is obvious. But what is just as obvious — and what is too often overlooked — is the fact that from their earliest years children live on familiar terms with disrupting emotions, fear and anxiety are an intrinsic part of their everyday lives, they continually cope with frustrations as best they can. And it is through fantasy that children achieve catharsis. It is the best means they have for taming Wild Things.”

and now, as i think more and more about my own childhood and work to find out all i can about my beautiful sisters (who have been my angels all my life), this quote stands out to me too...

“I cry a lot because I miss people. They die and I can't stop them. They leave me and I love them more.”

it's interesting how randomly coming across a couple of pictures unexpectedly can change your perspective. i am inspired by them, have a purpose to my summer because of them, and have finally figured out what i want my first tattoo to look like...in memory of them.

"Bless you, my darling, and remember you are always in the heart - oh tucked so close there is no chance of escape - of your sister." ~Katherine Mansfield

On my mind, in my heart...today, always...SA&PC