getting out of my funk...

Dreams that come true

If you had no limitations, what would you choose to achieve? If you could get up from where you are right now and go to do literally anything, what exactly would it be?

You instinctively know there are things that matter to you more than anything else. It’s important to remind yourself specifically of what they are.

You may not be able to fully achieve your ideal life right now. Yet you absolutely can take very clear, definite and effective actions today to move your life in the direction of that ideal.

With every choice, with each decision, you are progressing in one way or another. Know clearly where you want to go, and even the little moments will bring you closer.

Your life is a continuing manifestation of your most firmly held intentions. So focus on the intentions that you most sincerely and passionately desire.

The dreams that come true are the dreams with which you are most intimately and consistently familiar. Know precisely what you want, and the living of your life will make it real.

— Ralph Marston

i'm in a bit of a funk today and this just hit home perfectly. i need to keep positive and focus on my purpose and goals.

so what would i do if i could do "anything"? i do love teaching, but i am not sure if i would continue it in the capacity of a public school classroom if i didn't need the income. but as long as i need the income, at least i have long summer breaks so that i can be free to help multiple ministries. i would like to be free to travel wherever needed whenever needed, and to help others locally and abroad. my husband would like to a new ministry locally, i would love to see that turn into something that reaches a multitude of people in ways that nothing else does in our area. i want to be involved in ministries in haiti, philippines, liberia, and more.

right now, unfortunately, finances are blocking my ability to do a lot. or maybe i am letting the lack of them block my ability to get the drive to do more. i want to be at peace, positive and prosperous more than anything, but it seems so hard to attain at times... the question is, who is making it so difficult? i'm guessing that it's me, getting over myself and the fear of failure. time to buck up and work on focusing on the important things and quit letting doubt, worry and fear rule.

2 Timothy 1:1-7--I thank God,...without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day,...being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother...and your mother..., and I am persuaded is in you also. Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.

strength...

i went out for my first workout in forever (you can read about it here) this morning and i was going to make a whole post on goals. i thought about it while i was running/walking. i have been working on getting my goals in writing and being concise with them. i have a tendency to be too wordy (no kidding, right?) and want to keep them simple. one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get back in fit shape. the biggest thought that was dancing in the forefront of my head was that it's one thing to write down your goals so that you can see them, but it's clearly a whole other thing to actually finally take that step to act on them. i have been planning to get fit and healthy for a long time, but that's all i've been doing...planning. i've been doing that in a lot of other areas too, and realized it's time to get off my butt and get busy with all of the things i need to do.

when i got back home, i opened my email and the following article from dailyword was in my email inbox, how timely! (this seems to be happening a lot lately!) check it out...

Friday, August 05, 2011

STRENGTH

I have inner strength.

As I embark on any new endeavor, the excitement of a fresh start can be exhilarating. Sticking with it, however, requires that I develop the spiritual faculty of strength and use it daily.
Whether I am adopting a new healthy habit or leaving an unhealthy one behind, raising a child or starting a new job, I remain steadfast. Obstacles may arise and I may experience my motivation waning, but my inner strength carries me through regardless of any obstacles. I meditate and invite in new awareness. I listen for guidance from within, while affirming my strength and resilience.

The spirit of God within me is my source of spiritual strength. In God consciousness, I overcome any challenge and experience the joy of success.

The Lord is my strength.--Psalm 28:7

how do you want things to be???

i read regularly read the Bible, devotionals, etc. and i also regularly read things that are uplifting and positive, even though they may or may not have a "religious" connotation to them. sometimes i find that the non-religious reading is more uplifting, encouraging, and inspiring than the religious stuff. for example, this morning at church, the closing song was supposed to be uplifting in that it was talking about overcoming worry, spiritual warfare, etc. but i found it to be stress-inducing because of their choice of images playing on the screen during the song. everything was sharp, jagged, spinning out of control...and they didn't have the chorus showing anything opposite to counter it. it just didn't seem very "feng shui"...they had the yen but not the yang (or vice versa)...the negative images, but not the positives. i left there feeling stressed rather than feeling elated and "victorious."

fast forward to my afternoon... we decided to eat at home rather than eating out. we stopped by the store, picked out some fresh salmon and some great produce, and a few other necessary items for the coming week, and went to pay. the search through the depths of my purse ensued, but to no avail...i couldn't find the card i needed to pay for our groceries. they said they could push the buggy into the freezer for me and it would be ready to go when i got back from running home to get my card. we got home, found the card, got a treat from the ice cream man, and i returned to the store... only to find that they decided i wasn't coming back and that most of my cart had been emptied of my items. sure, they offered to get them for me again, but who wants a teenager picking out their peaches and plums??? so off i went, re-shopping for the items that were supposed to be our delicious home-cooked sunday dinner. (they didn't even wait an hour for me to return...20 minutes home, 20 minutes back, and 10 minutes i stood in the deli picking up something quick for lunch so we could have the salmon dinner this evening...only gave me 10 minutes to be at my house to get the card and turn around, and yet not even that.)

so fast forward further... lunch is over, i sat down to the computer and decided to check out the daily motivator, and this is what i read:

How you want it to be

Whatever you genuinely expect is what you will express with your words, your actions and your life. Whatever you expect without question, you’re already working to create, even when you don’t realize you’re doing it.

Worry is a powerful form of negative expectation. Repeated worrying creates the reality of what you’re so worried about, and that’s certainly not what you want.

Yet it is just as possible, and just as powerful, to truly expect the best. If you can envision reasons for worry, you can also envision reasons to be confident about more positive expectations.

Put the power of your expectations to work in a positive and enriching way. Tell your life how you want it to be by expecting the best of it in every moment and in every situation.

Truly expect to get it done, and those very expectations will lead you to find a way. Instead of fighting against your worries, be pushed forward by the very real and powerful expectations of the positive life you intend to live.

The future has not happened yet, so make sure that when it does happen it will be to your liking. Know that you can expect the best, and then get busy making it so.

— Ralph Marston

funny, i didn't expect to come back to the store to an empty cart, and yes i did get stressed, but worrying about it and fussing about it wasn't going to do me any good. i had to just grab my old receipt they had printed out, grab the cart, and go...get my food for my family, and head home.

life is a lot like that. things come our way that can stress us out, make us worry, and just really put us in a pissy mood...but we have control over how we handle ourselves, and how we react to what is happening around us. i could've been a really cranky customer and caused a big scene, but i don't think that would've resolved anything besides making me look like an idiot, and making everyone around me stressed out.

when life throws things at you like job loss, an unexpected move, the loss of a loved one, sudden responsibility that you didn't bargain for, etc. you get to choose how you will react, and you get to choose how you will live your life...which way seems more productive? worry and fretting circumstances and the future? or being positive and making plans? it's a no-brainer to me!

summertime, and the livin' is easy...

well, maybe not "easy", but it's definitely laid back compared to the school year! i have "summertime" set as my ringtone. last year it was "put your records on" because "summer came like cinnamon, so sweet"...

summer is absolutely my favorite time of the year. i like to think back and remember when i was a kid and all of the fun stuff we did. i try to do some of those things with my own kids, and come up with new ideas too.

so far this summer we've:
*caught lightning bugs and put them in a jar
*skipped rocks on the river
*made rock buddies
*played on the slip-n-slide in the back yard
*made homemade ice cream
*set off fireworks
*cooked on the grill
*made s'mores
*attempted to make s'mores bars and caught them on fire (yes, flames were coming out of the oven...very scary stuff, but all's well that ends well and there was no damage to anything besides the marshmallows on top!
*drove up to WV and enjoyed the mountain views
*gone swimming
*moved into our new home

hopefully we'll have lots of other fun things accomplished in the coming weeks before school begins again. also, hopefully i'll get better at blogging regularly. i really enjoy sharing my thoughts and ideas, and contemplating life and creativity.

bumps...all about perspective...

think back a bit, picture yourself as a kid riding in your parents' car. you probably didn't have to wear a seatbelt, and it was legal for you to ride in the back of the station wagon or bed of a pick-up truck. our family had an international travelall, it looked exactly like this bad boy pictured here...
this was the granddaddy of the SUV and crossover. (and it may just be the reason i really want my dream car)

when my parents brought the travelall home, my little brother and i thought it was the most amazing vehicle ever made! (and we already had a vw bug, which was almost as amazing...) we would ride in the "way back" and alternate between lying down, as we would drive down the bumpy gravel roads of rural kansas, and people watching. (you know the kind, we were the kids who would make faces at people, wave at everyone, and sometimes pretend we were hiding from all of the "bad guys" who were riding in all of the other cars on the street.) we would pretend that our family was living out of that car and traveling all over the country to see all of the great sights...the grand canyon, old faithful, yosemite, niagara falls, mt. rushmore...you name it, we pretended we were there, camping out of our car along the way.

back then, bumps were fun. driving on a road through rolling hills was even better. if we were driving on a "washboard" road, we would make noise and let the bumps rattle our bodies so it sounded like we were stuttering.

as we grow up, driving down bumpy roads becomes annoying. we worry about the damage to our cars, whether or not we'll have to head for the carwash afterward, and get exasperated when it's so bumpy we actually have to slow down...we're always in a hurry as adults, you know.

in the past couple of years, our family has hit almost every "bump" you can imagine...it's hard not to get annoyed when they come along, but i'm learning. when damage is done, i look for ways to fix it and not let it happen again. if it's "dirty", i clean up the mess and move on. and more than anything, i've learned to slow down and learn from it. i have found that if i take the time to enjoy life's bumps and work on my perspective of them, rather than getting sucked into the moment (which always passes, quickly even), it makes the ride much more enjoyable.

hang on and enjoy the ride, bumps and all!

gratefulness and goals...

today's sermon was on being grateful, which reiterated a lot of what i have been reading and studying lately when trying to achieve your goals and changing your way of thinking.

i am grateful for my husband, we have known each other for more than 1/2 of my life. (my goal is to be more patient, loving, and grateful toward him.)

i am grateful for my 16 year-old son, he amazes me at some of the most unexpected times. (my goal is to help him realize how amazing he truly is and help him to become an amazing man.)

i am grateful for my (soon-to-be--tomorrow) 11 year-old daughter, whose passion and compassion are wild and unruly at times, just like her mama. (my goal is to help her realize that i love her and accept her for who she is, and how amazing her personality truly is.)

i am grateful for my 2 year-old son, he is turning into such an amazing little guy, loving, funny and smart, and never ceases to bring "delightful"-ness into our lives. (my short-term goal with this little guy is to help him learn to use the potty and live without his "bopi" during our upcoming spring break.)

i am grateful for my home. yes, it is a 3 bedroom apartment, and most of the time it seems to be too small for our family, but it is "home" because it's where all of my most treasured items (see above) are kept. (my short-term goal is to get things in order and ready to move into a 4 bedroom home by june 1. my long-term goal is to begin planning for building our own home within the next 2 years.)

i am grateful for my health. i know i need to lose weight and get into better shape, but i am healthy despite that fact, and can do almost anything i want because i don't have any physical limitations. (my goal is to lose 60 pounds by june 1 and begin training for a sprint distance triathlon.)

i am grateful for my job. i love working with children, and teaching in a title 1 school is definitely different and challenging at times. i would love to have my own classroom and not be a floating teacher, but i love my kids, all 120+ of them, and am so glad i have the chance of getting so many hugs and smiles every day. (my goal is to get hired in a position where i have my own classroom for next school year.)

i have other things for which i am grateful, and definitely have more goals that i would like to meet in the areas of finances and business. as my husband and i begin to really build our own business, those goals will be realized and we will have many more opportunities to help others and do ministry than we've had the privilege to do in the past.

i am grateful for my goals, to better myself, my family, and to help others. this is going to be the best year yet!

"I AM"???

i have been following randy gage on his blog, twitter and even youtube lately. he doesn't usually bring religion into his posts, but if you listen to him long enough you will see that he does have religious beliefs that drive what he does and how he lives. as someone who grew up in "fundamentalism" it's been a long journey to where i am from where i began. i still believe the core beliefs of my faith, but i have come to realize that there is a lot more to it than what i was raised to believe. the power of thought is very evident in the bible, and randy's most recent post "the i am" really made a lot of sense when considering how your thoughts affect things.

the following quote is what really struck me:

God, Infinite Intelligence, I am, or whatever label you may use to name It, is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent. ‘I am’ cannot be sick, depressed, weak, poor, or negative in any way.

So if we follow this train of thought that God’s name is “I am,” every time we say, “I am sick,” “I am depressed,” or “I am weak,” we are speaking God’s name in vain.

so, what faulty thoughts are you thinking about yourself and manifesting in your life? time to rethink things and remember that "as a man thinketh, so is he." i am!

my dream house...

i was looking at local homes for sale. this one would be perfect for our family. it's 5 bedrooms, 3 car garage, has a "game room" upstairs (which would be perfect for the kids for so many things), has a den downstairs, and the 5th bedroom is downstairs and could double as an office/guest room. the lot on which it's located is nice and big with plenty of room for a pool and a playset. the cabinetry inside is perfect for my decorating style, and i like how the floor plan is laid out when comparing it to the feng shui bagua.

time to start putting together a decorating "dream"...

(i love making a dream board digitally and being able to share it on my blog too! fun!)

my dream car...

i have been looking at this vehicle for awhile now. it's been on my dream board, i notice them every time i see one on the road, it's perfect. it's not a minivan, it's not an SUV, and it has room for my whole family...it's sleek, modern, and all-around amazing! i will be buying this car within the next 24 months...and as a bonus, i will be supporting my big brother's job when i do. next on my list is to test drive it...maybe over spring break, that would be a great "date" for my hubby and me!

fear, fulfillment and destiny...

"if fear is keeping you from being who God wants you to be, the most important question you have to ask yourself is this: am i fulfilling the life that I know I am called to live? am i living my destiny?" --jeff greathouse

no, i haven't posted on here in awhile. i decided to absolutely, 100% focus on my family and having the best christmas season possible! and let me tell you, it was amazing! we didn't have tons of cash for gifts, but the kids did get things they wanted and liked, we ate well, and we did TONS of baking! i think my favorite baked item this year were the earl grey cookies, but i really enjoyed attempting springerle, making sirupsnippers, and lots of other delectable goodies! the norwegian lefse for christmas eve turned out to be the best batch ever too. my kids enjoyed jumping in and helping make the goodies, but i think they enjoyed eating them much more. funny thing is, i think they're baked out...they have been avoiding sweets for the past week, which is not a bad idea since i am transitioning our eating as a family back to much healthier options like we were doing before the hectic school year and holidays hit.

so on to the main reason for my post...fear, fulfillment, and destiny...

i have been doing a great deal of reading over the past year or so on, simply put, positive and intentional thinking. it's been a process, difficult at times, and i'm still working on it. but i have finally had a mental transformation from being fearful and worrisome pretty much constantly, to being optimistic, hopeful and at peace. i am enjoying life, in spite of and sometimes because of the crazy twists and turns we've taken unexpectedly. teaching kindergarten is fulfilling in many ways, but there is so much more i want to do and be. so this break from blogger and especially during my vacation from school during the post-christmas lull has brought about some clarity of thought, an idea of goals to write, and just a glimpse of my destiny. (btw...my biopsy came back as nothing, woohoo!)

as for goals, i have always had a hard time writing them out, and still haven't, but now i have some concrete ideas in mind and have done a lot of thinking about "where i am, where i want to be, and what i am grateful for" which are the most important aspects to keep in mind when setting out on a new journey in fulfilling our calling, our purpose, and our destiny.

those goals are still a little jumble-y in my head, but tomorrow i have a date with my notebook to continue writing them out, as well as working on my dream board, coming up with a realistic schedule for myself and our family, and adding in my new workout routine (kinect is going to help me out a lot!). i am also looking forward to a phone appointment with my business partner to discuss business strategies and excitement coming up for our company this year...it's going to be amazing!

looking forward to an amazing year ahead...are you fulfilling the life you are called to live? are you living your destiny?